Disappointed by me

I have this habit of waiting to the last minute to do something, especially if it has to do with writing or reading. I keep myself busy and then cram all necessary preparation into a short amount of time. This allows me to say I didn't have much time. someone called my bluff! I delivered a speech last night with an intro that lowered expectations. The speech was actually pretty good. Though I didn't feel as prepared and polished as I would have liked, nobody knew the difference. The review was pretty good and there wasn't a mention of preparation lacking. Here is why I'm disappointed by myself. I don't learn nearly as much when I fly by the seat of my pants and hope for the best. While I know I'm my biggest critic, I also know that I rob myself of a great opportunity when I wait to the last minute. So, here's me smackin' myself!

This is STRESSING me out.

Maybe I'm not cut out for blogging. Not only did I not post anything for a full week because I forgot I was doing this ... when I did finally post, it took me about 45 minutes to figure out how to upload a picture to my profile. Sheesh - what a pain. Thankfully, my coworker is blog literate and was able to guide me through the process. Someday I will be able to navigate and understand the code of blogging -- not today, but someday. Maybe. Somebody asked me something the other day and it has been on my mind since... The question - and I pose it to you - "What are you defending?" It seemed a little out of the blue and I didn't know the woman so I didn't offer an answer. But if her goal was to provoke thought she accomplished it. Trouble is - I don't have an answer yet. Not a good one anyway. I mean, I defend my faith and my actions, my friends and my choices... but I don't really have anything jumping up or presenting itself that makes me think - ah that! I have been asking God about it. More thought and soul searching will be required. The Holy Spirit will show me. Ooh, the galaxy - maybe THAT is the answer... maybe I'm supposed to defend the galaxy!

This makes me nervous

I'm giving this a whirl after being encouraged to keep a blog by several friends. I have been hesitant to make my thoughts available on a public domain. As much as I love people I can be guarded sometimes. I have always thought it's kind of vain to think you have a public waiting to read what you have to say. Hi. My name is Melanie. I'm vain. I'm not looking to pick up a large following... a small group of loyals will do nicely. My goal is to work on my writing skills and maybe meet some interesting people. So, this is blogging. Nice.